"You Do Not Belong in this Class"

My mother first stepped foot on American soil on September 19, 1994.
     She was wearing her very best outfit -- a white lace dress, complete with white leather high-heels. At the Detroit Metropolitan Airport, she was first struck by the sound of rapid English being spoken all around her. It sounded like singing, a beautiful melody full of hopes and possibilities.
     In the following weeks, my mother noticed more of the unique aspects of America, especially when she started her graduate classes at Wayne State University. She was shocked by two aspects of university life: First, Americans dressed casually. Dresses and high heels, which my mother and her classmates wore around the university and at the workplace in China, were nonexistent in America. They were instead replaced with baggy colorful sweaters and camouflage pants. Second, the sheer diversity took my mother by surprise. Not only were different races present (versus China's nearly exclusively Chinese population), but also different shapes and sizes. Well, she noticed a lot of Americans were fat. Maybe that was because most things they ate were fried, compared to the steamed and boiled dishes of China.
     For the most part, (even though she gained a few pounds) my mother loved America. There was only a single incident where she felt like a small and insignificant in this nation.
     It was one of her first classes at Wayne, Sociology. Now, this was not a class she wanted to take, but it was a required course for her MBA. The professor was a stereotypical middle-aged American -- a short, obese, balding man in his late 50's. In the day in question, my mother's good friend, Mei, was ill and therefore absent. So, my mother decided to tell the professor about Mei after the class had ended. She didn't want to announce Mei's absence in front of some 150 others (mostly white males) in the middle of roll call. Keep in mind, this shyness was due to a combination of Chinese values, where humility and shyness are of the utmost importance, in addition, though to a lesser degree, to her lack of confidence in English.
     She approached the professor after class and told him about Mei's situation. He looked at her, my timid 26 year old mother, and said, "You should not be in this class". Just like that, without any exam, without any way to measure her ability, this man looked at my mother and determined from her spoken English and the way she looked that she did not belong.
     This blatant racism, my mother concluded, was due to a difference in values. She was raised to be modest, whereas in America, if you didn't speak your mind immediately, you were viewed as impotent and therefore unqualified.
     My mother stayed in the class because she had to, but also because she wanted to make a statement. You didn't have to be a white male to be successful. She earned her MBA a few years later and became a successful medical data analyst.
     In hindsight, my mother forgives that professor who made her first months of university in America so abhorrent. In fact, she even looks down upon him now, not in negativity, but rather in pity. She pities that fat old man because he could not open his mind and attempt to understand different cultures or to "improve [his] moral fiber". He forever remains in her memory, and serves to remind her just how far she has come. -MC

My father's graduation at the University of Michigan, circa 1995